Tips for Educating Children After Divorce

Kenzoo - Many children take the scars of disagreement in divorce to adulthood — a wound that should never need to be inflicted. But the cracking of a couple's relationship can help stop the damage done by managing their own behavior before the ink dries on the divorce papers. In the past, kenzoo has written about Tips on Ending Relationships Well, then in love relationship tips this time we will discuss about Tips on educating Children After Divorce.  This aims to give guidance to those of you who are separated so that your emotions do not interfere with your child's next development and destroy your children in the long run.

1. Don't make your child a messenger

Many parents seek to communicate through their children, which causes undue emotions, stresses them and forces them to negotiate situations their own parents can't handle. Email is an excellent tool nowadays for communicating with your ex-partner It allows you to specifically discuss the practice of raising your child without detouring into negative areas and opening old wounds. It also provides recorded messages, received to the court, so parents tend to be more careful when using them.

If you want or need to talk to your ex by phone or in person, you need to focus and stay on task, and most importantly, don't be provoked if he starts opening up fights that will actually make your child's mental burden even heavier. (Read: Tips if you fight in front of your child). Simply say, "I appreciate your feelings, but I'm here to talk about our child's schoolwork. Try to take a good path because your child's emotional health depends on it.

2. Get Therapeutic Help.

Teens feel like they want to be in control, and divorce turns out to turn their world upside down"Don't fall into the trap of sharing the details of your divorce or feelings of anger about your ex with your older children. Your own child's anxiety and need for control cause your child to become an 'understanding' of what you're going through. You have to remember that you need to be a parent who becomes a parent to be a parent to them. Get outside help for yourself, by going to a psychiatrist for therapy if needed, and maintaining boundaries.

3. Try to "get" your child.

Children need to feel as if they understand and after you divorce of course their feelings are in chaos. Listen to them and don't tell them what to think because it might be difficult for them and also never criticize or vilify your ex. You can teach them how to behave without the need for emphasis as kenzoo once reviewed on How to Behave When Parents Divorce. However, your ex is a parent to your child who should be a role model for them to be proud of. As a parent, you don't have to have a solution if your child is complaining, you just need to hear them.

You can suggest your child write down his or her feelings and share them with your ex, but only if the child wants to do so. Healing comes through loving connection, and from feeling understood.

4. Avoid Comparing.

Allow your child to treat his misses on the weekends by letting them go with your ex-partner. Say it well to your child and don't look disappointed because your child will leave you for a while. Because it's as if he has to sort out two worlds. Putting your child right in the middle is an emotionally difficult position. Make them comfortable when they leave you and don't worry that they will leave you forever because as they grow up, they will still be able to judge how wise you are in dealing with every problem.

5. Repair the damage you have done.

Many parents are divorced and after reading these tips can recognize the mistakes they have deliberately made to their own children. Is it too late to make yourself better? Of course the answer is "no", because as Kenzoo has written above that as they grow, they will judge themselves, because they are forgiving.

Try to apologize to them and say that you regret making a mistake with your children. Describe in detail what you did wrong, and then commit to changing your behavior from that moment on. Give your child a safe and specific signal — for example, telling your child to raise his or her hand when you start criticizing your ex — that serves as a barrier for you, telling you firmly what you're doing again and needs to be stopped immediately.