Selfish child? No need to worry, these are the 5 right ways to educate him | theAsianparent Indonesia
Selfish traits in children often appear at the age of 2 to 3 years. Usually, children don't want to share their toys or food and assume they are all theirs. Selfish children also tend not to be able to empathize with others and only think about themselves.
Children who are young don't understand what's good and bad. Therefore, the task of parents as parents is to guide him so that he knows what can be done and what is not.
Quoted from Halodoc, there is actually a scientific explanation why children under the age of 4 years tend to be selfish. According to a study, a new child can understand how to empathize or put themselves in the shoes of others after the age of 4 years.
Research at the Max Planck Institute for Human Cognitive and Brain Sciences (MPI CBS) in Leipzig and Leiden University states that social awareness comes from the maturation of critical fiber connections in the brain, which does not occur until the age of 4.
Indeed by itself children will learn to socialize well with age, but the education of parents is also no less important to form their character.
If the child's selfish nature is left alone, the child is not impossible to grow into a selfish adult and not think about others. Causes of Children to Be Selfish
In addition to indeed caused by the growth and development, there are several external factors that can form the selfish nature of children. Mostly related to parenting patterns. Examples are as follows,
- Often spoiled by parents. Sometimes parents think that children should get the best so that it spoils the child too much.
- A sense of loneliness.
- When the child is angry or upset and no one pays attention to him, then the child will close himself and start focusing only on himself, without involving others.
- The child is jealous of his siblings.
- If a parent or other family member has a selfish nature, the child may imitate the trait.
- Parents do not set boundaries and regulations in the family. An undisciplined child is usually selfish.
Actually, if the child focuses on himself and how to make him happy is a good and normal thing. However, if excessive the child will grow up to be a selfish figure.
How to educate children not to be selfish? The role of parents as parents is certainly needed. Here are some tips that can be practiced by parents to the little one. Teach children about the concept of sharing as early as possible
Give your child the understanding that sharing is fun. For example, parents can tell your child that by sharing toys, everyone will get the same opportunity to play.
Your child will also get the opportunity to borrow toys belonging to his friend that he has never owned or played with before. This concept of sharing can also be practiced directly when the child is playing with friends or relatives. Teach about empathy so that children are not selfish
If the child is a child, parents can first introduce emotions to him to teach empathy to others.
Parents can give examples of happy and sad emotions such as facial expressions, movements, or voice intonation to distinguish the two emotions.
You can play a role to help your child imagine what emotions he or she will feel in a situation. For example, parents can ask your child, "If your toy is snatched, how do you feel?" or "If your friend wants to share it with you, are you happy?"
This will help the child get to know empathy and how others also have the same feelings as him. Give an example to the child
Another easy way to introduce a child with empathy is through religious teachings. For those who are Muslim, Parents can tell the story of the Prophet who is full of suri tauladan for him.
Parents can show examples of commendable and reprehensible attitudes from stories that are read and how children can imitate these good things. Related article: Learning about love and forgiveness from the story of Prophet Joseph
Children can also learn about giving and how a little help provided by children can help others.
In addition, inviting children to learn to be grateful can overcome selfishness. Older children can be invited to participate in social activities that will foster empathy better because they already know the situation in the field.
You yourself as a parent must also show good qualities in order to be an example for children. Tell your child to always respect others, be it older people, peers, or younger people. Discipline the child
Children who do not want to obey the rules tend to grow up to be selfish. Therefore, parents play an important role in disciplining children. There is no need to use force, just firmly and stick to the rules.
Show your child that selfishness is bad and tell them why they shouldn't be selfish. Make your child understand the consequences of his actions. For example, if the child is selfish, no one wants to play with him.
If your child tantrums, parents should make sure they understand that they won't always get what they want, especially if they're crying or whining.
There is no need to rush to refuse or say no to children, but try to invite children to discuss to find a solution that is beneficial for parents and children.
Also tell other family members to obey the same rules and not give leeway to the child without parental permission.
Children also need to be given responsibilities according to their age so that they grow into independent and unselfish individuals.
Give small tasks such as cleaning the room, tidying the playground, and so on. Make this task a routine that must be lived every day. Give compliments or rewards
When the child is willing to share with others, give praise for his actions. Explain that it is good and how it can make others happy.
The child who gets the praise will be motivated to continue doing the same and his brother will get the same message.
Parents should also know that character development is as good as the child's academic development in school, so there is no harm in rewarding if the child shows commendable traits in his daily life.
Selfishness in children is sometimes also caused by excessive anger and difficulty to control themselves because of the age that is also young.
Keep in mind that making a child grow into a figure with high empathy is a long process. It takes a lot of practice so that the child is not selfish and can mature wisely. The main key is patience and parents should strive to understand what the child wants and needs. Source: Parenting.firstcry.com, Imom.com, HalodocBaca as well:
id.theasianparent.com/menanamkan-empati-pada-anak-sejak-dini/
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