Not Alone in Educating Children

The guidance of educating children has been exemplified by the Prophet Shallallahu alaihi wa sallam as a plenary example for us people. So how do we as parents apply the guidance of this Prophet?

Children are like white papers, which can be written in any writing, so the role of parents is vital. Because through parents, children will become good human beings or not. However, we should not deny that there are external factors that sometimes also have a big influence on the development of children.

We know the hadith of the Prophet Shallallahu 'Alaihi wa sallam how the influence of the environment against a person, namely:

ﺍﻟْﻤَﺮْﺀُ ﻋَﻠَﻰ ﺩِﻳﻦِ ﺧَﻠِﻴﻠِﻪِ ﻓَﻠْﻴَﻨْﻈُﺮْ ﺃَﺣَﺪُﻛُﻢْ ﻣَﻦْ ﻳُﺨَﺎﻟِﻞُ

"A man is above the religious customs of his close friend, so let one of you notice who is his close friend." (HR. Abu Dawud, Tirmidhi)

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This hadith explains to us that the influence of the environment is so great, he can color a person, even he can override the color of education that parents give at home. Parents should be aware of it.

Ustadz Abu Ihsan Al Atsaary explained, it is wrong when we think that children's education is only played by both parents. Because the reality is that there are so many parties who participate in coloring the educational patterns of children. In fact, often this other party is bigger and more intense than the role of parents.

"So on that basis, parental vigilance is needed. Because when we are caught off guard, it could be that all the teaching we give to children will be countered by wild educators out there," said dai who often gives islamic parenting studies various da'wah events.

According to him, there are several parties who have a big role in our child's education outside the home, namely school, friends or friends of the media (internet, television, HP, magazines, storybooks) of relatives, maids.

In this case we must also realize and know that parents should not give up the child's association to the child. Parents can't free him as freely as possible. There has to be control from the parents. Parents also have the right, even have to interfere in determining their children's friends. As we also determine where this child will study or go to school. Especially when the child is still in developing age, such as pre puberty, puberty and post puberty. These are very critical times. If parents are caught off guard at such times, this can have a bad effect on the child.

"Therefore parents here must still have a role and attention, even intervene in determining important things in the life of children," said Ustadz Abu Ihsan in one of the studies on 'Printing Rabanni Generation' on the Muslim channel.

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Ustadz Abu Ihsan Al Atsaary also explained, in school (especially elementary school) this laid the basics of his personality. Parents should choose a school that is really good for their children. The school has a huge role and influence. In school, children spend most of their time. Even now it may be more children in school than at home. Even during this pandemic, children are still learning at home. But it's certainly not forever, it will return to normal and the child will return to school.

Time at home may be only a few moments, the rest of the house is just a place to sleep then go again to school. School can be said to be the second neighborhood after home.

In school, these children will gather from different social and environmental backgrounds, various thoughts, customs, and characters. Our children hang out with very long-standing individuals, maybe even years in school. This interaction can have an influence on the child's psyche, on his character and personality. So no wonder children will tend to imitate from their friends without him being able to choose and sort out what is good and what is bad.

Likewise, teachers or teachers in schools who also come from various backgrounds of thought, culture and personality. Not all teachers have a commitment to a straight aqidah, noble morals, or instilling important things for children. Maybe there's a lot he's just to tell and then he goes home. The rest he doesn't care about. Moreover, the school is not special to emphasize the faith or worship is right.

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Of course, the influence of teachers is also very large. "Therefore parents must also know or know the teachers who handle their children. Because often this teacher becomes a role model for children. They easily hear and practice the teacher's words and deeds even though it is contrary to the mindset and upbringing of parents. And the fact is that adolescents vent more to their teachers than their parents," he explained.