Tips to Educate Children: Accept Children vs. Ban - Bangsaid

Communicating with children and students in school is difficult. Especially for those of us who teach in schools that do not allow 3M (Angry, Telling, and Forbidding). Teachers and parents must be good at choosing sentences so that children want to follow their intentions. Wrongly using a word or sentence, will create bad communication. At the end of the day there is a estrangement between the relationship between parents or teachers and children.

Communicating well with your child

When you want to ban your child from doing something, instead of preventing it, providing information about why it shouldn't be done and what to do, it will have a better impact than banning it outright. For example in a case when looking at a low-grader (grades 1-3) who are supposed to stay downstairs suddenly goes up (Building level 2). What response did the teacher show?

First, from under the stairs the teacher shouted "No one to the ataas! No one's up. All the 1st graders are below!"

Or the second response, the teacher approaches the child and asks "Want to go up? What needs to be?"

Let the child answer so that the teacher gets information. For example, "Want to take a broom...," said the child.

And the teacher spoke again" Oh, go upstairs to get a broomstick. Below is also a broom. We can use the broom that's below."

Honestly, if I were a student I would choose the second response. Why? Because in this second response, the child feels accepted. It was accepted that he was upstairs to pick up a broomstick.

Grateful Communication

One of the keys to good communication is grateful communication. If you feel accepted, children will easily receive the information we provide. This is where a good pattern of communication appears between the teacher and the child. The effect of good communication will make the relationship between teacher and child warm.

Accepting a child makes him feel appreciated so he learns to have a good feeling about himself. He will feel comfortable and loved. Children who are comfortable with our presence will easily share their feelings.

Worry and Fear of Sleeping Alone

Another case example is Echa, a 7-year-old girl who was just in the 1st grade of elementary school. Echa had just got her new room after previously sleeping with her parents. But when going to sleep, Echa said to her mother:

"I want to be the same mama. I'm afraid to sleep alone."
When you respond with a sentence like:"

Oh my gosh Echa. You're already big. It's SD. There's nothing to be afraid of."

This kind of response made Echa feel unwelcome. Even in his mind, Mama didn't love him.

It would be different if the response was like this:

"Oh. Mama knew Echa was scared. That's why you'll turn on the lights and leave the door open. If there's anything, Echa can come to mama."

This second response is an example of grateful communication.